About my Blog

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain

Monday, September 21, 2009

Attack of the Mush: Interesting Conversations

I started talking to this guy online for about a week now. Haven't seen him, have no idea how he looks like but bottomline, I love the way he thinks, the way he writes and they way all this remains to be a mystery. Scared? Yes, but I'm willing to see where this all will go. After all, nothing is really certain. We could only wish to hope and pray ever so diligently that this might work. And if it doesn't, we move on. Just like before.

Received and sent messages
Show last Message

Him: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:15
searching for love, sex and magic? necessarily in that order? :)

ME: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:24
not really.. but preferably with a picture. hehe!

Him:i 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:26
tempting... :)

ME: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:28
i'm sure. :D

Him: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:29
my loss then :)

ME: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:37
or perhaps mine.. :) we'll never really know...

Him: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:40
hahaha, you are one witty piece of neuron

ME: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:44
hmmm... i could probably say the same thing about you.

interesting, i usually ignore guys who message me without pics but then again... it's refreshing to see a message with more than 2 sentences (and not a template).. than the usual "hi", "hello", or worse, "helloww poh, kamustahhh pow kayoh?" HAHAHA!

Him: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:47
i dont see that as messages, they are regarded as TRASH!!!! well, options available to a nice looking guy are endless. but sometimes there is the lil devil called curiosity that pokes your mind with the idea that "hey, this one might work!"

but then again, you have the option to ignore.

or we continue this kind of conversation. your choice!

my ym id remains to be *****

ME: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:52
i'd love too.. but i just finished a toxic day at the office. i'm just about to leave. might not be able to catch or go online when i go home.. too tired most probably.

so next best thing, mobile. if that's not too personal, here's my number 0917******.

Him: 15. Sep. 2009 - 20:57
i see. i just hope your toxicity will be compensated for most of the employed's salary are waiting to be withdrawn!!! teller machine rocks today!!!!

well, i wish you well and a safe travel going home. dont worry, your number is safe with me. :)

ME: 16. Sep. 2009 - 11:50
hehehe.. payday for our company is 10-25. :) and no, i'm not paid well enough! but i love my boss and my job so I do it for that reason alone.

yeah, i figured my number was safe with you since you never really messaged me or anything. locked in a vault? =D

Him: 16. Sep. 2009 - 21:58
so dinner on the 25th will be on your tab? hahaha. Underpayment is a misnomer. If you have lots of cash, taxation will be lurking CLOSE behind.

i dont expect you are the message-type person. But yeah ive been hooked in my own vault (read: deadlines) and this is the only time i can check.

my apologies. safety is my primordial concern!!! :)

ME: 17. Sep. 2009 - 10:30
hmmm... you're really starting to poke on my interest a little more. either you're an english major, you love reading books, a writer, or you're a stalker who knows me and the fact that i am turned-on by great minds. so which is it?! :P

25th dinner -- i would love to but unfortunately, i will be in Malaysia by that time and will be gone for 2 weeks. i'm leaving on wednesday next week.

here's my ym in case we catch each other on-line: angel_of_mourn (don't ask, i've had that since high school and was too lazy to change it.)

Him: 17. Sep. 2009 - 21:57
nope, not an english major. If you read the curriculum description of such course, you will have second thoughts.

i love books, that is a confession BUT!!! i am also a writer (in my own ways). Not into blogging though, i have too much stress in life and i firmly believe that the walls of social networking sites are not fora for rantings.

im no stalker too. i dont want to suspend life's happenings conditioned on another. thats a sad life, boring and lethal! hahaha.

maybe i have caffeinated neurons inside this temple. and maybe you have those too. thus, the connection.

Malaysia trip? travel is soothing for the weary soul. But if it is business or work-oriented, then maybe a change of workplace is also an alternative. regardless of teh purpose, you are mature and old enough to remind yourself to take care.

thank you for the ym id. i feel guilty because i have not offered anything in return. thus, i am 0915******.

dinner on the 25th postponed? do you reschedule? ordinarily, i dont. but since you have been nice and accommodating, what is two week wait mode? :)

ME: 18. Sep. 2009 - 13:07
This is turning out to be more and more like a blog entry. It's been a long time since I've conversed with someone such as you. And yes, I'm loving it very much.

so you love books, and write -- two things i hold very high regard of. I'm a writer myself but unlike you, I do my rantings on my blog for the world to read. When I initially created that blog back in 2004, it was more of a place to store all things that i've written. Later on, it became an outlet of sorts for my melodramatic, sometimes chaotic, but mostly ecstatic (wait, did I just rhyme?) life. Now, I mostly write about my experiences in life, love and losing. Three topics I am very much, if not overtly familiar with.

and you're not a stalker... good coz I wouldn't know what name to write on the restraining order (if ever).

yup, definitely have some, if not most neurons caffeinated. everyday coffee drinking and did I mention the title of my blog is Suicide By Coffee (NOTE: Promise you won't look it up!)

I've been going in and out of Malaysia for almost 3 years now. "Suyang-suya" na ako don! Hehehe! But yes, I change of environment from time to time is good for the heart, body and maybe even the soul.

oh wow. an number, think if I should sms you immediately, perhaps I should wait an hour or so before I do. Don't want to seem too eager! Haha!

Yes we could reschedule, how about before I leave. Lemme know if you're up to the challenge.

Him: 18. Sep. 2009 - 23:49
well, i have been conversing with "sensible" peeps on this site. They are scarce, yet some are promising. But then they will shatter the mind challenges and the wisdom taunting conversation with 3 words --- "face pic please". Will then go to square one again. good thing expectations are tempered. i can go through all these again and again.

i think writing vis-a-vis reading is a normal package. unless one writes mathematical themes or nuclear physics that is confined with a mono faceted subject, the two should be used, enjoyed and practice simultaneously.

if i am a stalker, i would just crush your restraining order via mandatory injunction or motion for reconsideration, appeal perhaps? but then again, a good stalker finds pleasure in following without being spotted right?

i am torn between the good effect to critical and free minds on one side and the hurt caused to others by blogs. others might misinterpret you or destroy you back even without your intention doing the same in the first place. thats why blogs do not excite me much. people with minds creating them do excite me more (and more!!! lol). im too lazy to search engine the title of your blog. just tell me the interesting parts on dinner (on you?). I assume a good writer like you is as eloquent and expressive with thoughts.

malaysia? I dont like their restrooms!!! some do not have toilet bowls!!! CRAP!!! literally!!! i love the idea of public showers on railroad stations though. a haven for backpacker-cruisers!!! hahahaha.

still no SMS. even if i brag about the fact that there is this cute person seemingly interested (and equally interesting), i still wanted that message!!! how is he different composing text messages from the free language of the PC? without the message, what difference will it be?

we cant reschedule before your trip. I am on my way to the island paradise of palawan, el nido and coron. while my initial return date is tuesday, i might pay additional bucks to enjoy. Dont worry, i think its worth the wait!!!

til next time. :)


-FIN-

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Because It's My Choice and Not Yours

Last night, I realized that I am a square peg in my very rounded hole and by hole I mean this world. For almost two years that I’ve been single, I’ve searched, waited and longed for love. And it eluded me ever so passionately. I’ve dated and met a lot of people over the past two years and yet, for some reason it just didn’t fit. I didn’t fit.

I’ve been in love before every so often. And while it is the most magical thing in the world, losing it is also the most tragic. It doesn’t matter how many San Miguel Light you drink with your friends or how many love stories you watch, or even how many times you go to bed with someone you hardly even know, I still go to bed every night wondering, going through every detail of how for a split second you made yourself believe that you’re happy loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

I woke up this morning depressed and in tears. Something I also could not explain. But this is not the first time it had happened to me. Usually during the “BER” months that I am single, I somehow get into this mode. And it just sucks!

And so I tried to put meaning to my tears. I asked myself why I was sad. Why in my semi-perfect life, good career, intact family, wonderful friends, the only thing missing is someone I could share the great things in my life with? Why is it that as you get older you raise your expectations and never settle for anything less that what you think you’re worth? And then I came to my senses; I stood up, cleaned the entire apartment, ate very late lunch and sat down to watch “The Holiday” for the nth time. And the answer came to me; you find love when you least expect it. You just do.

Today, I only allowed myself to cry for a few minutes because I needed it. I needed to get my frustration out in the open. Not because I wanted to but because at the end of the day it’s my choice to either sad or to be happy. And now, I chose to be happy. Why? Because, I can!


Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One More Reason Not To Date Anyone Younger Than You... (or in this case, anyone with the intellect of a squirrel.) LOL!

Definitely worth blogging....

One of the reasons, why I should really stop going out with boys! SOME OF THEM have the emotional and intellectual capacity the size of a teaspoon. HAHAHA! Anyway, this conversation was done over PlanetRomeo (a social networking site for PLUs).

This is a conversation between me and a 23-year-old gay guy names Jaycee.

Enjoy reading...


Received and sent messages

Show last Message

1. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:02
define poser. :D

2. jaycee08 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:05
poser?

3. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:06
sa profile mo. :)

4. jaycee08 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:08
what????? ganun b tayo kclose for you to call me poser. magkaibigan nga kayo ni melissa! parehas masama ugali!

5. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:23
ano ba?! chill! you misunderstood.

Online: NO FACE PIC, NO REPLY! POSERS WONT BE ENTERTAINED! -- yan ang headline mo sa profile mo di ba?

so i was asking you as a joke to define poser. mashado ka naman hot-headed....

6. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:26
and you just judged and called me "masamang ugali" and you don't even know me... and all based on a simple and laughable misunderstanding. and on top of that, you just called my friend masamang ugali too. hmmm...

sino kaya sa atin ang may masamang ugali? :(

7. jaycee08 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:28
it's not a good joke.

8. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:31
what?! hahaha! wow! i never said you were a poser and obviously you didn't get the joke. anyway, as i said, chill.. i think you're stressing over such a little thing.

either that or you really didn't get what my message meant.

take care then!

9. jaycee08 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:31
whatever. just stop sending me msgs. thanks. so next time be careful with ur jokes. bye.

10. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:32
hahah! kids nga naman...

oh well.. god bless!

11. jaycee08 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:34
yeah kids nga naman, they love laughing at their stupid jokes.

12. slimleon 15. Sep. 2009 - 15:38
just because you have an emotional and intellectual capacity the size of a teaspoon doesn't mean the world is always after you!

you'll soon realize what an unbelievably idiotic thing you're stressing about.... until then, i bid you farewell and good luck! :)

-FIN-

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo
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